Life Saving Questions


Okay, so maybe that’s a little dramatic… but hear me out.  

We all know that there is nothing more dangerous to our bodies than anger.  A body filled with anger will self-destruct, and the process is not fun!

Anger is normally not even directly related to the event, person, or phrase that brings it on.  Anger is ultimately an issue within ourselves. 

Anger is something that we need to understand, isolate and learn from.

That’s why the key isn’t to never be angry.  In fact, that’s pretty impossible.  Even the happiest person gets angry from time to time.

The key is to observe the anger, without feeling it.

Sounds difficult?  Maybe.  But, not impossible.

With practice and patience, anything is possible.  Anything. 


So what are these two questions? 

Well, whenever you encounter a moment where you feel yourself getting worked up, take a deep breath and ask:

     1. Is this a life or death matter?

Because sometimes things are just that serious. 

We’re not parents yet so maybe we shouldn’t be writing about parenting, but even when it comes to children, I constantly see people yell at their children.

I get it, those little monsters can be rough sometimes – as adorable as they are other times.

But, if you’re continuously yelling, they will not only become immune to your yelling, but they will stop reacting.  So, when a situation arises that perhaps warrants a scream in order to protect them, it will fall on selectively deaf ears.

So save your screams for those moments that really matter.  This goes for grown up little monsters as well. 


      2. Will this matter in a year?

I think a year is a pretty good measure depending on how long it takes you to get over something.

It doesn’t mean that you don’t get to handle whatever situation that arose that initiated the boiling process, but it just means that anything less than those two questions isn’t worth your health.

Simple enough.

Everything we do, eat, say, or think is directly related to our health.  I don’t need to be a doctor to make that statement, it should be common sense.

Every time you raise your voice at your loved one or think those horrible thoughts about the person that cut you off that morning, you’re triggering little alarms to go off in your body that you will end up paying for sooner or later. 

This is by no means a quick fix.  Even as much practice, meditation and time I have given myself to strengthen this technique, it still takes effort at times.  But, it keeps getting easier. 


We must prioritize our health above all else, even our emotions.

Anger is poison and it will kill you unless you kill it first. 

So, next time you feel your blood boiling, your chest pounding and you see the horrible scenarios of what you’d like to do, take a deeeep breath.  Exhale.  

Ask yourself those two questions, and then practice bringing yourself back to a place of peace and balance.


 

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9 Comments

  1. I so agree. I have a problem with holding anger inside of me. I am extremely non-confrontational. I bury a lot of negative emotions deep down. Nine times out of ten, I am better for it, because honestly nothing good comes from airing every single perceived grievance. My dad used to yell a lot and it has turned me into someone who avoids yelling and arguing at all costs. But the flip side is that some angers that I ought to have expelled, I instead have allowed to fester. They have become little seeds of anger growing inside and I know it is not good for me. If I am not going to voice it, I need to let it go. That is when it gets difficult. I had a lot of grievances toward my closest family members around the holidays, which I did not voice outwardly. A coldness set in and I am working really hard to just let go of it – to just let it all go. That takes some mental heavy lifting. But it’s a worthy cause, I think.

  2. You are right! I’ve grown up being yelled by my parents and grandparents and now I’m immune to it. 😀 They still yell…even on little things.
    Nice post! 🙂
    xoxo

    1. haha! Sorry to hear that, and I can totally understand! Thank you! <3

  3. Thank you reminding me about how much things are stressful because we make it out to be! I will be keeping this in mind (:

    xoxo
    Isaly Holland

    1. Thank you, Isaly! Sometimes it’s definitely a lot harder to do than other days. But, we are the main reason for our stresses. Glad we could help!

  4. Wow, I had never thought about it this way before. Good read!

    1. It’s a good way to think about it and save yourself some of the stress that anger brings. Thank you!!

  5. Those two questions do bloody work, I tell ya! I’m dealing with a decidedly shitty situation atm, and I am actually grateful (again) that I’ve stumbled onto another one of your posts that is just beautifully poignant.

    Is this life or death – no!
    Will it matter in a year – probably to them, but if I let it go now, it won’t. It really won’t matter.

    I can breathe easier. It won’t even matter because I’ve moved on.

    Wow.

    Thank you ❤️

    1. Your comment made my day, Zakiya!! Makes me happy to know that I could help with those two questions! I actually wrote this as a meditative piece for myself to use when I needed it and I still use it from time to time.

      Much love! <3

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