Money: Who Needs It?
I don’t care about making money.
When I was in high school, I said that by the age of 25, I would be making $250k. A little over half a year into my 30s, and that amount looks a lot closer to my law school debt than my income.
But, you know what? I’m okay with that.
The more days that we spend on this earth, the less possessions we keep, and the less desire we have for any at all.
Well, that’s not completely true.
Now, things like hiking backpacks, water filters, and trekking poles are things we enjoy looking into and want to have, but for the sole purpose of doing what makes us come alive: travel.
I don’t care about name brands.
I don’t care about jewelry.
I don’t care about accessories.
I don’t care about a big house.
I don’t care about an expensive car.
Do I want to get my loans paid off? Hell yeah!
I don’t like feeling like I owe someone, and definitely not the government.
But, hey, no resistance, right? New motto.
Everything is just a motivation and a driving force towards the larger goal. So, I’m sure it’s just something that I will look back on and be grateful for.
Luckily, we didn’t let the debt keep me trapped in a job that was draining me physically and mentally. And, that’s the most important part.
The rest will come.
As someone who used to collect things, keep all mementos, and overall used my sentimentality to excuse an overwhelming amount of crap, now, I hold no attachment to any thing.
Even something as precious as my wedding ring.
I used to say that it was the only possession I cared about. But, now, I could live without it.
Our rings are special. They may not look like much, just two simple gold bands.
Not white gold, platinum, or diamond plated. Just gold. Engraved with our nicknames on the inside.
I didn’t want an engagement ring so it’s the only physical “symbol of our love”.
But, if it went away tomorrow, would that change anything?
Would we love each other any less?
Would we miss each other even more?
Would we suddenly feel nothing when we embraced or kissed just because our fingers were bare?
Recently, due to our change of lifestyle and eating habits, we’ve both lost some weight.
First, gained a lot after our belated honeymoon road trip, and then lost even more after coming back and altering our lives.
Of course, Boris lost far more than I did, because well, he’s a man and life just works that way.
Since he was dropping weight, he was also dropping his wedding ring.
It became so loose that it disappeared in our luggage more than a few times during the transferring of our things while car camping.
So, finally, he took it off and hung it around his neck instead, until we could get it resized.
As I would look over and see my husband’s naked wedding finger, I would joke around and tease him. But, really, I just felt at ease.
As much as I love our wedding rings, and still feel joy from rubbing the gold or playing with them from time to time, they really don’t mean much. After all, they’re just a piece of metal.
Now, I truly feel confident to say, that there’s no possession that holds any value for me.
The most value is held in what can’t be seen or touched. It’s not the things that we cherish, it’s whatever meaning they hold behind them.
Do we want a huge house? Hell no.
To each their own. But, for us, a large house just means three things: a whole lotta extra space, a whole lotta extra things, and a whole lotta extra crap to clean.
We love to cook. Well, Boris loves to cook more, I love to eat. So, we’d probably need a decent kitchen with the essentials: a stove, some storage, and a fridge.
But, we could just as easily adjust to cooking on a camp stove.
Do we need three guest rooms? Probably not.
Do we need an office, a dining room, a game room, a dressing room, and a library?
We spend most of our time indoors in a small area, and give us some decent weather and you’ll have to drag us back inside.
We would rather have a smaller “home” and instead have true access to nature and space outdoors.
Do we need an expensive car? Na.
Honestly, we’d love a Tesla. And, depending on our future living conditions maybe a pick-up truck.
But, we don’t care for having anything that costs more than a house or which has an oil change that costs more than a week’s worth of groceries.
However, at this point, our journey is so open-ended that even what we thought we wanted a few months ago has dissolved and reformed several times.
If our experiences and paths have showed us anything, it’s that as long as we have each other, we can be stripped of every luxury, comfort, and desire and still be okay.
Actually, more than okay.
So, I realized: we don’t need money.
Because honestly, even if we had money, there’s nothing really that would change for us, materially.
The only reasons that we want money are to pay off a loan, help out our families, and to be able to do the things we never thought possible for those who desperately need it.
We don’t want to simply throw our dollars at a cause. We want to get our hands dirty and use the money as a resource to reach further than we ever could without it.
But, do we need money to make a difference?
It might make it easier, but no.
I realized that we can be just as helpful, just as impactful, and just as powerful without any money.
In fact, if anything, it feels even more empowering having nothing to lose and understanding that you can’t lose anything, than “having it all”.
If money comes, let it be, but I don’t yearn for it.
I won’t wait for it. I won’t expect it.
And I won’t be disappointed if it doesn’t come.